On friday night when I was cooking and cleaning the bathroom and preparing for dnn to come, he called me. Obviously too many things went wrong that night. At first the train from princeton to princeton junction was broke (again!). So he had to walk the long way back to his company, called me, and drove to Hamilton and hoped to catch the train there. Then he couldn't find a parking place near the train station and in a hurry he somehow left his wallet in his car. So, when he was close to penn station he found out that he lost his wallet. Further, he forgot to bring his cellphone. So in a word he was stuck there. I don't know why the train broke down whenever he took the train. Maybe I should not call him trouble maker anymore since now it sounds like a curse. But why my curse doesn't work for those who I want to curse?
Anyway, back to the topic. Obviously I couldn't handle it that he can't come friday night and it has to wait until saturday noon earliest to see him. The minute I dropped the phone I cried out. This is just too much. Why is it so hard on me? Yeah I think it's just because of the pressure of funding and teaching and publication that pushed me to a corner that I can not hold up. Preparing and waiting for dnn to come was like a break from the high pressure so that I could forget about those things that I got to do and had to succeed. And I can expect that just after a couple of hours I can talk to him about what is happening to me and what I feel and seek for comfort and encouragement. So several hours difference at this point seems to be a big deal! Several hours! How can I manage to get over it. What should I do next? And the big disappointment was that he forgot his cellphone. That means I had to wait for another hour to talk to him on the phone. Why was he not there when I needed him the most? It was just the helplessness that broke me down.
Eventually it turned out ok and I didn't work much for the weekend. Shoot. Whatever! Life goes on and who cares anyway!
