A girl

It sometimes feels strange that some people easily get together and become friends, and some others just can not, no matter how hard each tried.

I have a habit of checking on the Internet the recent news of people I knew. Just for curiosity. I think this is not called poking, or maybe it is? Well, all the information available online are supposed to be public. So collecting the recent news of someone I knew, behind a monitor, is simply `data mining'. It's also safer, for you don't have to think about a response or an appropriate expression if you happen to ask the wrong question or get an unexpected answer. Alkward conversations happen all the time.

Anyway, so I go to an online forum and checked the recent post she sent. Our relationship is so strange. We've been in the same dormitory for a couple of years. We were two out of the three girls in computer science major. So we've been quite close -- but never emotionally. I think I tried. But it seems I can never open up to her. I can never say anything that stays deep inside me to her.

However, I really feel that we are of the same type. So my feeling tells me that we should understand each other really well. But it just didn't happen that way. Maybe that's one reason that I want to be informed of her information, by someone we all knew or by the powerful Internet search engine. Maybe I wanted to prove that my intuition was right. That she is the one that I thought she should be.

Sometimes, I also wonder what she thinks. Did she think the same way as me? Or she just didn't care? I don't plan to ask her. She is going to move to New York too. Oh, well, maybe we'll meet in the future. But I am sure it's gonna be the same as before. We'll talk about weather, old classmates, and blah blah, but never ever the type of conversation about our fear and worry and anything that is more than 2 inches deep.